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All I Want to Do Is Code

One of the weirdest hard things in my life is this urge to develop websites.  I mean, it's my job and all, but that work is controlled.  I'm doing it to maintain and improve an existing site with set platforms and code bases.  It can be a little restricting.

Its why I try to sometimes recommend things that are a little newer and not used by everybody and their grandmother.  I understand why it won't be used, and I tend to bring those things up as a bit of a joke knowing it won't happen, but what if?  But it makes sense, you go with what everyone is using because it has a lot of support, documentation, and most developers will be able to figure it out.

Then there are the times when I stare at something as I'm trying to fix something and it reminds me of an almost OCD feeling of something being off.  I bring it up after letting it go a long time ago, and sometimes it pays off.  Maybe if everyone likes it I will finally be able to look at it and not have this searing pain in my heart.  I actually felt relieved when I made the changes.  It was just on a development site, but it felt soooooooooo gooooooooooood.

But my main issue is that when I'm at home or even at work I want to try a bunch of different things.  Nothing that will ever make me a million/billionaire, just stuff to mess around with.  Unfortunately, I don't have a working computer to do that on.  I could use my work computer, but I feel that would be miss use of it and don't want to do that.

I know I'll have to buy/build a new computer at some point.  I want to play games again on a PC.  But I really just want to mess around with stuff.  See if there's anything fun that I've been missing.  It's a weird thing, but I guess it is why I do what I do.  I'm not in love with it.  I just really enjoy doing it some times.

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