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Opening My Mouth

When I was younger and getting bullied, one of the things I was encouraged to do was talk to the guidance counselor.  Normally this is a good thing to do.  If you're in trouble you should talk to someone that can help.

Now, I won't say it's the counselor's fault, but talking to her did not help at all.  In fact all it really did was cause everything to get worse.  At some point I just stopped talking.  I made some changes, got some payback, and the one time it started happening during my Freshman year, I didn't last too long before taking matters into my own hands (well fist).

The one thing that I (unfortunately) learned from that was that saying how I feel is a bad thing.  I know I've most likely talked about this before, but it is really important.  It's something that has never really disproven itself over my life.

I take the 2 instances I've told someone that I like them.  Yes, there are only two instances that this has happened.  Both times have had similar outcomes. 

Both after awhile had stopped talking to me or extremely limiting how much they talk to me.  This is their choice and while I think that it really fucking sucks, there isn't anything that I can do about it.

It continues to prove to me that I should just keep my mouth shut.  It's one of those things that while talking about things is something I always encourage, because I know it helps people, too me it never really has.  At most it gets me to the next day, but never really helps improve my situation.

This blog has helped, but I do try and keep things vague as you never know who might read this.  I'm sure they could still figure things out, but I'm not advertising it to anyone.  Well, except I did post about this blog a few times on Facebook.  Eh, should be safe.

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