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Needle in the Haystack

After being called a nice guy or a good guy for my lifetime, they're has always been one question that I've had.  If I'm such a good/nice guy, why have I always been alone?  I have friends.  I have great friends.  But I've never had anything more.

Throughout the years I've always been wondering what the missing "but" was.  No one has ever said that word, but I know it is there.  Just never said to my face.  Sometimes it seems like people will do their best to not say it.  Avoiding saying it to me, by going through someone else to just say they aren't interested. 

It's like getting to the ending of a story, without getting any of the key plot points to tell you how you got there.  It's frustrating.  Obviously there has to be something.  30 years means there has to be something.  And I can't fix what I don't know.  A simple answer is all I need.

Maybe the dumb stuff I say here somehow comes off in my actual personality and I don't realize it.  Maybe I have anger issues that show and I don't realize it.  Maybe I'm just not attractive enough (that one's harder to fix haha).  Maybe it's all of the above and more.

Sometimes just knowing is half the battle.  But when you're not giving any good intel, it's hard to come up with a winning strategy.  I guess I just go on not knowing and hope that I hit on something.

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